Sunday, April 10, 2011

Learning of wisdom.

Years ago, back in the early ‘90s, I was attending Calvary Chapel in Albuqerque. I still have loads of sermons on cassette from those years, and because of those cassettes, I am able to remember, very clearly, many of the things that Pastor Skip said.

I remember how he would slam Psychiatry, particulary “Christian Psychiatry” which would look to sources outside the Bible for wisdom. “The Bible is the only source of wisdom that a Christian needs! The Wisdom of the World is foolishness” he would say with earnest shock.

That was my religious mentality. This was the background I came from.

By the mid-90’s, while still a Christian, I began dating a young woman who was quite a bit more worldly and educated than myself. She got me interested in enrolling in college. She took me to one of the University of New Mexico’s many libraries. I have since seen much larger university libraries, but back then I felt dwarfed – an ignorant, uneducated, naïve country hick standing amongst shelf after shelf after shelf of bound research journals.

“There is so much here!” I said.

I will never forget her reply.

“There sure is. This is the Wisdom of the World”

Since I have started blogging about apostasy, religion and de-conversion, a lot of people have asked that I write my own de-conversion story. I have thought about it, but I don’t know how to do it. The task of writing all that down seems impossible for me. Because the story of my de-conversion, necessarily is the story of my entire life. My de-conversion began when I was a child, and continues to unfold to this day. That day in the university research library, standing amongst the Widsom of the World, with the chastising words of Pastor Skip fading further and further back into the shadows of my mind, was a defining moment in my de-conversion, nearly 12 years before I declared myself a non-Christian.

Thank you, B----, wherever you are. Thank you for introducing me to The Wisdom of the World.

Also, thank you DMA, for inspiration


D'Ma said...

Thank you for sharing that. And thanks for the H/T. Sometimes I wonder if I'm baring too much of my soul, but the only way I know to shed my past is to be completely transparent. Moreso for myself than anyone else. Guess I'm kind of following the addict's advice. You can't find a solution unless you admit there is a problem. I am eternally grateful to those of you who came before and shared the difficult journey.

... Zoe ~ said...

I remember as a Christian, going back 10 years now, hanging out on spiritual abuse forums and more than a few people were from the Calvary church you mention HeIsSailing.

I was an avid reader. First of the Bible and all things Christian. It ended up being my downfall. Odd how so-called "Godly material" could lead one astray, eh?

Lorena said...

Lovely post. It's just the way it is, isn't it? We have little aha moments during our Christian life. Then, one day, we put two-and-two together and realize that there is too much evidence and that we no longer believe.

Anonymous said...

HeIs Sailing, I've read your comments elsewhere around, and I can't picture you in such a church. No way.


Reason's Whore said...

Did Becky just say you were never a true Xian?

Nice story. And I also appreciate those who share their stories of deconversion.

DoOrDoNot said...

I have been humbled in my journey by how much knowledge and wisdom is out there of which I am ignorant, partly through dismissing it as "worldly" and "worthless." Those people I viewed arrogantly as possessing the wrong knowledge are the very people I am now learning from.